What Might Have Been
by darkelf1313
Summary: I suck at summaries. Set after LMR. Follows the lives of all our interns but focused on one couple. Read to find out.rated M for late chapters.
1. Chapter 1

Grey's Anatomy

Chapter one

beep beep beep

Meredith rolled over and slammed her hand on the buttons until the shrill beep of the clock finally stopped. She rolled back onto her other side, snuggling deeper into the warm body next to her. She inhaled his scent, so unique that she would know it, even were she in a coma. The typical masculine musk, mixed with an earthiness as well as the smell of Seattle rain, topped off with a bit of sea air. She thought he was still asleep, but as his hand snaked up her Dartmouth shirt, she realised he had also been woken up by the wretched alarm clock. She giggled when he began to tickle her and playfully smacked his arm.

"Not this morning, we both have an early day waiting for us. Besides, you wore me out last night."

He pouted, looking at her with his ocean blue eyes that were so striking when his face was framed by his dark hair. Eyes that she would be glad to wake up to every morning, and that when her time eventually came, eyes that she hoped were the last sight she saw on this earth.

"You and I both know that doesn't work on me this early, now hurry up and take a shower so that I can have the bathroom."

"Well, we could conserve water and shower together", he replied with his McDreamy grin.

"Derek, the idea is to get clean so that we can both get to work, not to get all messy so that it takes us even longer to shower and we are both late, which may be fine for you, but I have Nazi Bailey to deal with."

He silently conceded and rolled out of bed, making his way to the bathroom that Meredith had installed in her room (see A/N) when Derek had moved in. He had kept the land and the trailer, and the idea was to spend their free weekends there. But of course, they had not had a free weekend together since they had gotten back together, two weeks after prom, two days after Addison had finally signed the papers and returned to New York. Meredith had not planned to run right back into Derek's arms, after so much pain, but she also knew that he was her one, and that prolonging the inevitable would only cause them both more pain.

That had been two months ago and she had never felt more alive, more complete, not even when they had first been dating. The rest of her life around her was falling apart, with Izzie still greiving deeply, Christina still worried about Burke, and her mother having started to degenerate rapidly. But she had Derek, and she would be alright.

As she rolled out of bed with happy thoughts in her head, she suddenly felt very not alright and she made a dash to the bathroom.

Derek heard the bathroom door open and he grinned. "I suppose you decided to take me up on my idea to shower together, huh Mer? Mer"  
Derek stopped talking when he heard the unmistakeable sound of Meredith wretching into the toilet. He quickly rinsed the soap out of his hair and jumped out of the shower, still dripping wet, in order to hold her hair back and comfort her. When Meredith had finished, he helped her off the floor and over to the sink, grabbing a washcloth and wetting it to wipe the sweat from her face. Concern was etched on his face as he helped her face.

"You alright, honey?"

"I'm ok. Seriously. I am fine."

"You don't look fine. that is the third day in a row Meredith. I told you to stay home yesterday, and you said you were fine then and went to work anyway. You are most certainly not fine. As your boss' boss, I am ordering you to stay home."

"Ordering me? Seriously Derek, I don't do the whole 'obey' thing. I am fine. It is probably just food poisoning from that Chinese food you made me eat a few nights ago."

"Lee's has the best chinese in the whole city. I doubt that made you sick. Something else has you feeling so bad."

"Okay Derek, I promise that if I feel bad at work I will come home or ask somebody to take a look at me, okay?

"Alright, I guess that is the most I am going to get from you. HUrry up and shower or I am going to have to leave you here so as not to be late."

Meredith gave him her most annoyed-looking glare and shoved him out of their bathroom so she could bathe in peace.

(A/N Okay, I don't know if meredith has her own bathroom in the show. I didn't think so because I remember scenes of her sharing with George and Iz. So now that Derek has basically moved in, it would make sense for them to have their own bathroom.)

Drop me a line and let me know if you liked it and I will keep going. for any readers of my Harry Potter stories, I have not abandonned them in favor of this. My HP muse is taking an extended vacation. As soon as it returns and tells me how it wants to procede with the story, I will update.

That being said, I will plan to update this every Saturday, but I can't make any promises. 


	2. Chapter 2

Grey's Anatomy

Chapter Two

Meredith took her time showering, and as she washed, she let her hand drift over her abdommen. She didn't need to stay home or have anyone look at her, as she was pretty sure she new exactly what was 'wrong' with her. When she had missed her period the first time, she attributed it to stress and the fact she had always been a little irregular. But now that she had missed it twice in a row, there was little doubt in her mind that she was pregnant. She would grab a test at the hospital today and check to be sure, but there are some things a woman just knows. Meredith wanted to be happy, she had always wanted at least one child, but now was not the right time.

She and Derek had just gotten back together and while things had been good so far, they had not really talked about permanent commitments. She knew he loved her, there was no doubt in her mind about that. Her worry was whether or not he was willing to settle down with her. Not keeping the baby was not even an option in her mind, but neither was turning into her mother. She would not leave her child to be raised by hospital daycare and nannies. her child would know that it was loved and wanted, not an inconvenience.

The nagging voice in her head was back, reminding her that she was getting ahead of herself, that she wasn't even 100 sure she was pregnant, and if she was, she still had no idea how Derek would react. reminding her to worry about crossing those bridges when she got to them. She hated that voice, so superior and condescending, but also correct more often than not. She ended her musings and finished her shower, rinsing the lavender shampoo that Derek loved from her dirty blond hair before turning off the water and wrapping herself in a giant blue fluffy towel. She dressed simply as was usual, a form fitting long sleeved yellow tshirt and her favorite pair of jeans, wondering why she bothered since she wore scrubs all day anyway. she fought back another wave of nausea as she made her way down the stairs, greeted by a smiling Derek who was holding out a to-go mug of coffee and one of Izzie's cranberry muffins. Meredith grabbed both and tossed Derek the keys.

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The ride to the hospital was uneventful as usual, Meredith and Derek making idle chatter, but it was comfortable. Like Derek had once said of their kisses, it felt like it was something they had always done and that they would always be able to do. It was normal, which considering everything else that was going on, normal was exactly what Meredith needed right now.

They gave each other a quick kiss in the parking lot before walking in, together but not touching or holding hands. Everyone knew they were a couple, but in order to maintain some sort of professionalism, they kept the PDA to a minimum at work. Meredith flashed him a smile before ducking into the locker room where Christina waited.

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"Well, did you get the tests?"

"I snagged three, just in case. Wasn't easy either. The She-Shepherd's replacement is nearly as bad as Satan herself. It always seems like she is watching."

"Thanks, Christina. I made sure to drink lots of coffee and water this morning so I am definately ready to go take these now. Keep watch for me, will ya?"

"Sure, not a problem. Hurry up though. Bailey will kill us if we are late. Her softness due to Izzie's trauma has worn off. The Nazi is back."

"You know you love it christina. She is exactly like you will be when you are a Resident here."

"You think I plan to stay here for my residency? I mean, I have thought about it, but I don't know yet. Why did you assume I would?"

"Burke. I know the Chief will eventually offer him chief of surgery, and you and I both know he would be crazy to turn it down."

"You don't think he will give it to Derek? Aren't you selling your McDreamy a bit short?"

"I know he will offer it to Derek. I also know that Derek and I have talked about it and if it is offered to him, he plans to turn it down. He likes to be in the OR. He wouldn't be in there very much if he took chief...plus if this thing turns out to be possitive and he decides to stay with me, I think it would be difficult for him to be chief with a family at home."

"Aren't the ten minutes up yet?"

"Almost...I am scared to look Christina. Can I pass it out through the door and you can tell me?"

"Why are you scared? It is only going to confirm what you already know. Fine give me the damn thing so we can get our asses to work."

Meredith closed her eyes and handed all three tests to Christina through the stall door.

"Well?"

"Well, let me ask you this Meredith, were you wanting it to be possitive?"

"Well, yes, and no...no because it is so soon into mine and Derek's new relationship, yes because if I am not pregnant than there is something seriously wrong with me. Like cancer or something."

"Well, Meredith. Congratulations. You don't have cancer. At least, not that I know of. My condolences, you are pregnant."

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Well, I have a few reviewers so far and that rocks! It has inspired me and I definately plan to keep this going. I have no clue how long it will be...however long the story wants to be.

Plan to update again next Saturday but may do so sooner if you hit that button down there and make me happy! 


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